Blue: the ocean only in the way that God sees it, a little boy handing his mother some bachelor button flowers, a dark bruise from a fight in the street, blueberries on a fence post, poison dart frogs, blue jays that flitter past a bedroom window so fast that you only see a blur, "the dress" that a young woman sees in a store window, a necklace that a bride wears on the day she goes to make a covenant with her husband before God, and a streak of hair on a man who slams his apartment door on the way out to a concert- not out of anger, but out of great anticipation. The color of rest, knowing, mystery, a long talk, loyalty, and simple pleasures.
Red: from the heart of the sun as it goes down into the rocks in Sedona, from the depths of a rose, blood from the hands of someone who died for the one they loved, a freshly painted barn, ripe tomatoes that hang still in the garden outside the window, the first red carpet ever put out in old Hollywood, and the lips of a woman. My lips. The color of a fire unattended, passion, a heart that's been turned over on its side, running as far as you can and further, telling the truth when you know it'll change things forever and accepting pain.
Green: the only thing you can see when you step into the majesty of Scotland, God's hand as it brushes the long grass fields through the wind, a kiwi and a sierra mist on a road trip, an evergreen tree - and how my mom used to tell us her love was like that...because evergreen trees never die during the winter months, a vine in the jungle that strangles one and makes a path for another, and a lizard's skin that only a child will stop to look at when he passes it at the zoo window. The color of summer sparks and rolling and playing and bumping heads. Of holding hands and a cartwheel and violins.
Yellow: a sweet little flower that pops up in the crack of a sidewalk, lemons in a basket at a farmer's market, the glow of a firefly as it dances whimsically through the darkness, a field of a million sunflowers - and the path that the lovers make as they run through, a bundle of balloons at a circus in the summer, a traffic light that's old and reliable- in the middle of New York City, the glow of stage lights under the curtain before a show, a long path lined with the trees affected by the autumn flow- yellow leaves covering the entire line of sight like a tunnel, the soft mist over a field just a moment after sunrise, and rain boots that you can see a mile away- even when its pouring. The color of piggy-back rides, spinning, a family picnic, skipping and tripping, the first moment with a newborn baby, a glance and a wink, and a blanket light enough to drape over your legs as you nap on a couch in a sun room during a lazy summer afternoon.
I have yet to see heaven. But God gives us glimpses. These colors have been prominent in the firey cracks of electricity flowing through my brain these days. With each one there are stories. And people yet to meet. And legends. And a joy that is too profound to even dictate. And hurt. And a way to expand and learn and trust that every moment of this life is meant to impact us. I couldn't escape it, and I would never want to. Who am I to deny God of little poems that He wants to whisper in my ear throughout the day? Who am I not to pay attention?
Some very real and crazy things are happening in my life.
-I'm leaving for Summer Project in just over 2 weeks.
-My sister is getting married.
-My best friend is PROBABLY getting engaged within the next year or so.
-My brother is graduating high school.
-I'm going to be a senior.
-I'll probably never live with Gina again.
-I'm living with some incredible, wonderful, Jesus-lovin' women next year. And I'm stoked.
-I'm learning how to play the guitar.
-My brother taught me how to longboard, and I really want to continue with it because it's just ridiculously fun.
-Probably won't get all *5 of us at the lake together this year.
These are things. Things that are important, and things that will drastically change the course of my life (YES! I WELCOME THIS!). And it will be scary. Haha. Sometimes I play it off like I'm so tough that things like this don't bother me. I don't like change sometimes. Not when it comes to not being able to cuddle up with my sister whenever I want (not that I get to anyway because I don't ...live near her...but you get the point), my brother "growing up" (although he's way bigger and more mature than me), and thoughts of living with my roommate of two years (and great friend since the first day of college) only memories of the past. People that I love- swerving in the lanes of their lives and in and out of mine. It's a treacherous road to travel. But God has been faithful in His promises to fulfill me completely.
I am excited. Mostly because throughout these changes, He's shown me a lot of beauty and MORE than that: He has been reminding me of what He's done for me AND those that I cherish in my life. They are in good hands. I can't be there all the time. And the tears that I shed in response to these changes are out of love. And that love only flows through me because of Him. Ahhh. What a humbling thought. I only love them because He loves us.
