Helleeewww. Yes, I consider myself a Grandma. Or at least old enough to be one...when it comes to how early I usually get tired. It's 1:45 a.m. and I am SO ready to collapse (about 4 hours ago), but this is usually when my best thoughts come out. Plus I'm trapped at the front desk in Kriescher. So here I am, it is late, and I have some thoughts for you.
I came into the semester today feeling completely unprepared mentally, but coming to grips spiritually with the truth that I don't NEED to be as prepared as I want to be (i.e. LOSE THE NEED TO CONTROL LIFE!). I want to encourage you, friends. I'm not going to sit here and tell you to give up the control. Because I know we all want it, in some way or another. But I do want to encourage you with truth.
"For who is God, but the LORD? And who is a rock, except our God? This God is my strong refuge and has made my way blameless. He made my feet like the feet of a deer and set me secure on the heights."
-2 Samuel 22:32-34
"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea..."
-Psalms 46:1-2
"But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared for them a city."
-Hebrews 11:16
"For the kingdom of God does not consist in talk but in power."
-1 Corinthians 4:20
"God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful."
-1 Corinthians 1:9
"...this is God, our God forever and ever. He will guide us forever."
-Psalms 48:14
Friends, drink up this sweet nectar. Keep these words and share them; let them be the wind that carries your ship over the seas. Today was a mess of emotions for me. Insignificance, confusion, determination, joy, protectiveness, frustration, hopelessness, and irritation all bugged my thoughts and heart today. I was thinking about India (ALWAYS thinking about India) and where God is leading me in my future in general, plagued by incapabilities in the dance program, let myself become insecure about certain relationships, and ran from class to class in a hurry, worrying about the semester to come- just to name a few. I let the day fly by, by trying to control it. But I was missing it. "God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared for them a city." Even in our brokenness, He sees us with eyes that we will never understand fully. Why do I care so much about saying the right things or walking at the right pace or planning out my next actions? Planning and organizing are glorifying to Him in the sense that we are called to be good stewards of the time and resources given to us. But it when those things become lords over The Lord, that we begin to feel how unfilled we really are.
Blessings on this week, friends. Find joy, rest and peace in the One who will really fill you.
"We will run to you, we will run to you.
Turning from our sin, we return to you.
Father, heal Your world, make all things new.
Make all things new."
P.S. My brother and good friend, Jon Stoddart, sent me something called "The Sound Mind Principle." It's the Paul Brown letter written to help guide into scripture for tough decisions and paths that need light. I thought I'd share it with y'all:
http://www.greatcom.org/resources/paul_brown_letter/
_sea
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